"I gave my teen her first cell phone in November. How can I make sure the experience is a good one?"

—Melrose Atwell, New York, N.Y.

3 Expert Tips

"For me it's the two 'Cs.' It's the context, and it's the child. And I think parents always need to balance those two."

—Mike Riera, a longtime parenting expert and educator who appears regularly on national television. He is the author of five books, including Staying Connected to Your Teenager, which has appeared on several bestseller lists.

1. "Kids need to earn this."

Being able to reach each other by cell phone at any time can be a great tool for both parents and their children, Riera says. But whether it's earning a phone in the first place with school progress or better behavior—or helping to pay for it once a teen already has a phone—it's crucial that a child feels it's a privilege, not an entitlement. "When we give kids things too quickly, they don't appreciate them," he says. "I see this as a perk for kids. It's becoming more and more the norm, yet I think they need to be ponying up for it."

2. "In the beginning, I think it's really important for parents to monitor their teen's cell phone use."

From the outset, tell your child that you'll be looking at the call log, text messages, and minute usage, that it's your responsibility as a parent, Riera says. "And if I look, and all the text messages are erased, I'm going to take your phone for a month," he says. "Make it clear right at the beginning."

3. "It's so easy for kids to get in over their heads and not know what to do about it."

Giving your teen a warning that his or her cell phone is subject to oversight is actually good training for responsible behavior, Riera says. "And it gives your kids a great fallback because they can tell their friends not to send inappropriate text messages because their parents might see them.